Top 30 Final Fantasy Villains - #3

#3 - Kuja
(Final Fantasy IX)

Have you ever heard the saying that a good villain doesn’t know they’re the villain? Well, evidently nobody ever told Kuja that, since not only is he a great villain, but he’s fully aware of his role, and he is loving the crap out of it.

Remember the FF9 Garland’s assimilation plot? It required an “angel of death” to go and disrupt the cycle of souls by inciting war and chaos, and Kuja was created to fill that role, and was set apart from the other Genomes because he was given a soul. The problem, however, was that he was a defective prototype with a rebellious streak, so Garland purposely gave him a limited lifespan and set to work on his replacement. This is not good for Kuja, since once the improved model is created, Kuja’s soul will no longer be his. He’s literally on borrowed time. So in addition to his job causing destruction, fulfilled by working as an arms dealer providing an army of Black Mages for the greedy warmongering Queen Brahne, he’s also working to amass enough power to overthrow Garland and save his own life.

What makes Kuja so memorable is just how many layers there are to his personality. At his core, Kuja is a narcissist. He can’t fathom the idea of the world existing without him and is desperate to save his own life at any cost. He’s also somewhat endearing in that he’s quite a theater buff, and as such is not only aware of his role as villain, but he embraces it, partaking in every villainous trope he can think of- such as monologuing, having a swanky secret headquarters with deathtraps, that sort of thing. And all the while, he is clearly loving every second of it. He does it all with a flair and flamboyance that makes him a ton of fun to watch. And while his outfit is absolutely horrible (for Yevon’s sake, the man’s wearing a thong! And pointy goblin shoes!) it feels perfectly in line with his flamboyant, narcissistic personality.

Another thing Kuja has going for him is his ability to think on his feet. Anytime a wrench is thrown into his plans, he adapts remarkably quickly. A bunch of his mass-produced Black Mages become self-aware and go against their programming? He tricks them into thinking he can fix their limited lifespans and gets them to follow him willingly. Garland learns of his intentions and destroys the creature he was planning to use against him? No biggie, he knows where to find another one. The heroes rescue his hostages and escape? He’ll capture one of the rescuers while they’re on their way out. He is always one step ahead of the game.

He becomes surprisingly tragic when he learns that Garland set him an expiration date that he can do nothing to stop. Kuja breaks down when he realizes all his efforts were for nothing, and his narcissism kicks in when he decides that the world has no right to keep going without him. It’s kind of like an evolution of Xande from III, except while Xande has zero presence, zero personality, and his actions run counter to his motives, Kuja feels fully realized and legitimately sympathetic.

Kuja achieves a new form that allows him to annihilate entire worlds, and an awesome fight ensues, which is sadly followed by a battle against the embodiment of death itself, which, while thematically satisfying, comes right the heck out of nowhere with zero buildup and steals Kuja’s thunder. In the end, Kuja actually does see the error of his ways and sacrifices himself to save the hero’s life, making him one of the few main villains in the series to actually redeem himself, even if he does die shortly after.

Kuja is entertaining, memorable, brimming with personality, legitimately intimidating given his choice of attire and baby-blue color scheme, and a worthy addition to the Final Fantasy rogues gallery.